June 7, 2011
my world came crumbling down.
I don't know what to do.
I keep waiting for the pain but all I feel is numb.
To my brynn:
my world has never had to exist without you. every memory is filled with your smile and laughter. you were always there to lift me from my sorrows, catch my tears when i finally let my guard down to let them fall, and calmed my fears. you always taught me to reach for my dreams and never let anything hold me down. you had more faith in me than i ever had and pushed me to succeed. since we were 4 years old you have been my partner in crime. skinny dippy in your swimming pool and lake powell, laughing until we cried with nothing but a single look, eating chips & salsa or chocolate pudding every summer day, sleepovers on my trampoline, or telling me how funny i am.
i was so blessed to get to have you in my life for so long. to have you as the example of what i wanted to be and of how to live my life. you filled my life with sunshine. i will never be able to find the words to express the sadness your early parting from this life has settled upon me. the memories we shared and love i have for you will forever be in my heart. not a day will pass that i wont think of your light.
i now have the greatest guardian angel anyone could as for.
breast friends forever
i will try not to ask the question why? i know god has a greater plan.
you loved with everything you had, and I know that you were happy. the gospel and knowing that i will see you again someday gives me comfort.
But it doesn't stop the sadness.
I love you.
Erica Brynn Barton
November 8, 1986
oh mal, this is just perfect. i completely agree with you, the gospel brings comfort that we'll see her again but it definitely doesn't take away the sadness. she was just the best. i love you!
ReplyDeleteseriously, mal. this is so great and you are too. tanner and i keep talking about how perfect your talk was on saturday. so well done. we continue to pray for you and love you so much! see you soon xoxo
ReplyDeleteMal - I am sure if we all had the power, we would take away all of your pain and carry it on our shoulders. I love you and I am so glad you have such a great testimony of the gospel. It truly is a comfort. She could not have asked for a better breast friend! None of us can take her place, nor would we dare try - but we can always keep her memory alive. Lean on us - call us - we are always here for you.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
-Kari
p.s. it is only letting me post this annonymously! D.U.M.
Mal this was amazing, so eloquent and beautiful. Brynn was very lucky to have you as a friend and although I didn't know her well, I know that you were lucky to have her in your life with such special memories. Keep holding on to those and the knowledge of KNOWING you'll be sharing many more with her again someday:) I'll always have you in my prayers, love you!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post!! There still will be many times of sadness, but I also love that the gospel can bring so much hope and comfort in times like this. I have thought about that many times this week. Love you!! Let Jarred or I know if there is anything we can do for you.
ReplyDelete“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
ReplyDeletei saw this quote today and thought of you girls. i admire your strength mal. love you!
Beautiful, Mal. Love you lots.
ReplyDeleteHey Malorie, you probably don't know me -- I'm Peter & Ryan Brown's sister, Kelly. I just wanted you to know that when I heard the news, my heart ached for you, and you've been in mine & my husband's prayers ever since. This was the sweetest post (I love the "breast friends forever" thing - haha). Sorry you have to go through this :( I bet Brynn misses you too! I hope your heart can heal & can feel happy again soon.
ReplyDeleteMal, You are just the cutest! I am amazed with how strong you are. I loved your's and Brynn's friendship. I love you so much!
ReplyDelete